GUNS, GOD AND GLORY - Fracas At Hur Council For Social Improvement And Upward Mobility, Mayor Nitz And Little Billy Braveheart Tangle

(05/04/2022)
By Bob Weaver

Sparks have been flying at the Hur Council for Social Improvement and Upward Mobility over gun rights, the latest meeting dealing with Mayor Nitz carrying a concealed weapon to a council meeting.

Little Billy Braveheart, kid reporter for the Houner Hound, confronted Mayor Nitz about his concealed gun after it fell out of his jacket, discharged and grazed councilwoman Faustine Smith in the knee.

Billy Braveheart told Mayor Nitz that it was illegal to carry guns in government buildings and meetings, although the Hur Council for Social Improvement and Upward Mobility had adopted a bill by the WV Legislature which allows citizens to carry guns on the State Capitol grounds, as long as they kept the guns hidden in their cars.

Nitz defended his carrying the gun at the council meeting, saying "It is based on the Second Commandment."

Billy corrected him that he meant Second Amendment.

"First of all Faustine was barely injured and we didn't even call 911, and Faustine's husband is a 40 year member of the NRA," he said.

"He has three gun safes with guns and maintains 15,000 rounds. Godfrey Smith knew that Obama was coming to get our guns and he, not unlike myself, is ready," Nitz said.

"Those Charleston politicians are doin' good protectin' our gun rights. They've introduced over 30 bills to keep West Virginia safer."

"You know what that Wayne LaPierre NRA guy says that the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun."

"I'm a good guy," said the mayor.

"Maybe so," said Billy, during the public forum, "but the law is the law, and you are the standard bearer of our community."

Did you know that LaPierre guy tried to siphon off millions of dollars for a mansion?." ask Billy.

"This is all off topic," said the mayor.

Nitz said, "I tired of reading about those good people getting fined at the Kanawhy Airport for having their guns when they travel. We're a free carry state."

"And our teachers and janitors need guns to protect the good students."

"Billy, there is the law and then there is what's right. You may be much too young to understand that principle."

"I thought that we're suppose to obey the laws, even if sometimes we don't agree with them," said Billy.

"There is a higher law, God's law," the mayor barked.

Nitz recalled, "Over in Clay County, the former sheriff Randy Holcomb said it eloquently during a church-state controversy several years ago."

Holcomb received a standing ovation when he told the audience that man-made laws are secondary to God's laws, indicating he would not follow constitutional rulings. "I don't have to go by man-made law," he said.

"Are you aware Billy its legal to carry a concealed weapon to church?," Nitz asked.

"I'm always confused about God's Laws, with hundreds of different religions saying what they are," responded Billy.

"Billy, my boy, there is but one God.

"Does our God love guns, seems like Jesus was always a peacemaker," asked Billy.

"We're getting off the topic," the mayor declared, pounding his gavel.

"Mayor, out on the Kerby Ridge, we have a Jewish family and down on Buckhorn there's the Kinders who are Buddhists, they really respect creation and God," Billy continued.

"We're getting off topic," the mayor declared again.

"Yes, we were talking about violating the law and you started talking about God's Law," responded Billy.

"Is the Council going to change the Hur law to allow officials and the public to carry guns in the town hall meetings?" Billy continued.

"Actually, the state legislature is passing gun laws that make things uniform in our beautiful state," said Nitz.

Boris Sturm, Hur's only police officer responded with, "I really don't like it. I've only been shot at twice by the Bower Boys when they were drunk, and I did shoot back grazin' one on them, one up for the good guys."

"But everybody carrying a gun to town does make me a little nervous," said Sturm, who stated he didn't get paid much to be in shooting scrapes.

Billy continued to confront the mayor, "So, before long do you think it will be legal to do what you are already doing, officials and the public carrying guns to government meetings, like legislatures, councils and school board meetings?"

"I personally think government officials need to carry guns to protect themselves for the gun crazy public. You know how crazy people get at our meetings, and we may need to defend ourselves," said Nitz.

"Have you ever gotten any money to run for office from the NRA?, asked Billy.

"No, so far just those running for state offices got their support," he responded.

"Seems to me like we're going back to the old west days," said Billy, "everyone packing heat. If what you say is true, then the winners will be who has the keenest eye and sharp shootin' skills, the fastest draw," Billy said.

"Billy, you're a pretty zany kid, claiming to talk to ghosts," said the Mayor. Billy has said he has talked to the ghost of Reason Kerby.

"You time is up, Billy, what's next on the agenda," declared the mayor.

Little Billy Braveheart has been a contentious youth in the Hur community, particularly since he fell on the ground in front of a dozer set to demolish Dolly Kerby's house on her flat land down on Slider Fork, stopping the imminent domain take-over of her property for the proposed Hur Liposuction Institute and Soap Factory.