A few years back a rock group called the Bobby Fuller Four had a song
out titled "I Fought the Law," which turned out to be
the only hit the group had since the lead singer died before they
recorded another one.
The lyrics went something like this: "breaking rocks in the hot sun, I
fought the law and the law won."
It goes something like this "limping around the house on one leg, I
fought the cat and the cat won."
Unlike Bobby Fuller I did not die. I thought I might, but I did not.
Let me give you some of the scenario of the Wednesday Night Massacre.
I was helping Linda get the dining room ready for our annual Christmas
extravaganza. That's where we put up something like
half a dozen Christmas trees and a full-blown two-table village with all
the lights, whistles and bells, or at least all the ski
slopes, skating ponds and Ferris wheels.
We worked at that for most of the evening and Linda had gone into the
living room to lie down on the couch for a while. I was
finishing off cleaning some stuff out of the hallway, taking it to the
That's when the Grey Ghost - Max The Cat - struck causing the
aforementioned Wednesday Night Massacre.
I was on my last load. as a matter of fact I had just carried the last
load out and was headed back into the house when Max
went darting out the door. Since Linda does not like him being out at
night - "other cats attack him," she says - I tried to keep
him from getting away.
But as he went whizzing by me, my left ankle gave way causing me to lose
my balance and begin a rapid descent toward the
I tried, heavens knows I tried to maintain my balance by landing on my
It didn't work. Instead I "maintained my balance" with my hand, elbow,
knee and chin. I "balanced" myself real well on the
floor with a huge thud.
Linda and Elizabeth came running to the door wanting to know if I was
Uh, yes, I hurt all over.
They helped me up and I came inside to survey the damage. Max, I am
sure, was looking in the window grinning at his
lopsided victory. My elbow was scraped. My knee was scraped. My hands
hurt and my chin was sore.
But the thing that bothered me the most was one of my toes. It didn't
feel right and when I moved it the pain shot through my
"Linda," I said, "we'd better get as much done tonight as we can."
She wanted to know why.
"Because I am not so sure I will be able to walk too good tomorrow," I
Sure enough when I got up Thursday morning my right foot was swollen and
I was unable to put any weight on the ball of it.
A trip to Minnie Hamilton confirmed my fears. Small fracture, they
think. They can't do anything about it, but they will get me
some painkillers and refer me to an orthopedic doctor at the VA center
So tonight as I hobble around the house and look at the Grey Ghost
sitting there on the arm of the couch, I swear he is smiling
Cat one. Gaylen nothing.