The cure-all Master Violet Ray machine, when all else fails
By Bob Weaver
My grandparents owned a strange little box of metal and wood with a pasted
decal "Dr. Wood's Healer and Balm," a combo deal that used a contraption with
some kind of salve from a can, most likely sold by Dr. Woods.
Grandma McCoy said they bought it at a medicine show over at Richardson about
1900. I don't remember her saying it cured anything, but it languished in a
dresser drawer until her death in 1976.
Years later I was at an auction in Wetzel County, and quickly became fascinated
with a high-tech version of Dr. Wood's box, the electrified Master Violet Ray
machine. I bought it.
"The Master Violet Ray destroys germs, brandishes diseases and tones up the
system. The "high frequency electrical rays provides relief when moved across
the body or inserted in affected orifices."
It not only gives relief from dozens of troublesome conditions, but in most cases
can actually "cure" the problem, says the booklet which came with the electric
machine and marketed for home use in the early 1900s.
The black box contains a generator, hooked to a tesla-like device which
produces static electricity. Actually small streaks of miniature lightning strikes
the body, giving a tingling shock.
"In most cases it will accomplish results where medicine and all other means
have failed," if the correct electrode is used. There is an assortment of 25
electrodes (pictured left), all sizes and shapes.
The device comes with a treatment list for over 100 diseases and conditions,
including boils, bruises, bunions, burns, blackheads, bronchitis and brain fag.
That's only the "Bs."
Besides all the major diseases, the Master Ray addresses constipation, which
requires a special illuminated electrode to be inserted in the south end. Hey, it even offers a cure for
impotence, long before Viagra.
Temptation has called to use the device for sinus trouble, which requires the
insertion of an electrode up the nose for five minutes a day, but so far I have
resisted. (Nasal application pictured left)
It also helps with nerve troubles, insomnia, wrinkles, dandruff and falling hair,
promising not to be habit forming. It even creates ozone around the generator, killing airborne germs and cleansing
the home in which the machine is operating.
Mostly, however, the Master Violet Ray machine is best used as entertainment for visitors when conversation has fallen in a slump.