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Many of my writin' kind of friends, certainly Dave Peyton and Jack Cawthon, believe Charleston Daily Mail columnist L. T.
Anderson is among the best, ever, at his craft. He has been writing his column shortly after the great war, Civil that is. I must
admit, and I have have told him, I am a fan, fan, fan.
I am enthralled, as only a fan can be, of sometimes being included in his annual Christmas Card, and my wish for him is simply his life span be extended, by divine intervetion, for another century.
THE CARD FOR 2002
Listen, friends, if you would hear
At the end of a rather dismal year
A song with which I put aside
The market's deadly downward slide
And turn my eyes from prospects blue
Toward festivals of a rosier hue
And ask of Santa that he go
To extraordinary lengths to show
The generosity for which he's famed
To deserving persons I will have named
Before I end this Christmas plea,
That peace be with us, you and me,
With every gent, each fancy madam,
George W. Bush and that guy Saddam;
Back home, let's greet with embrace jolly
The last grammarian, Withrow, Dolly;
Hail Robert C. Byrd, the Prince of Pork,
Randy Clifford and April York;
God save John Schiefer, Leona Brown,
Good Alan Sturm of Shepherdstown;
For Forbeses Mary Jane and Bill
Turkeys roast and glasses fill;
May the season's delights fall unalloyed
To Fayetteville's Fred Jesser the Thoid;
May gift-laden elves at quickstep troop
To the domicile of Sheila Stroup;
Hark to the harp of the angels, herald,
O Bob Weaver and Titus, Gerald,
And heed ye, too, the joyful tune,
Marty Bolyard of County Boone!
Toast Larry LeRose and Huffman, John,
Chuck Anziulewicz and Deutsch, Don;
I sing of their virtues because I wanna --
Chambers Williams and Bilyeu, Donna;
Count me at your call and beck,
Ye true blue friends at Old Man Heck;
Sing ye carols outside the house
Of William Harris and Ann, his spouse;
Salute John McGee and his wife Ruth --
Citizens of the Year, forsooth!
Race on, Comet, Cupid, and Blitzen
For D. Edward Bird and Leichner, Fritzen!
On Prancer, on Dancer, on Sleepy and Doc
And fill Ed Merrifield's Christmas sock,
And also distribute holiday booty
To Luther Wickline and Wilburn, Judy;
On your rounds, Santa, do not tarry
En route to the homes of Thomas, Mary,
Jim Hill, Jim Wood, Kay Smith, Neale Clark,
Eric Wagner, Jim Dobbs, and Ferrell, Mark,
Nor forget as through the sky you fly
George Hanna, Jim Houchins, Randy B. Fry
Dick Kirtley, Jan Mitchell, and Stanley, John,
Ellie Burka, Clint Hurt, and Ellis, Dawn;
March triumphantly, to show your joy,
Behind Tom, the little Drummond boy,
Toward the winter's brightest star
With Sandy Hamm and Frazer, D.R.;
A vin d'honneur to Taylor, Brad,
A similar toast to good Mark Sadd;
And fling on the fire a new Yule log
For John Himelrick and Bob the Clog;
May your skies be bright and never sullen:
Claude Skiles, Harvey Peyton, Joe Mullen;
Let turkeys sizzle on the rack
For Michael E. Salmons and Platter, Jack;
Then dance and otherwise make merry
For David W. Moody and Bradley, Terry;
You may be sure I'll go to bat
For these two Jacksons, Joe and Matt;
And I also let good wishes go
To Catlette, Bill, and Badgley, Joe;
Please order a joyful Christmas Eve
For Kissinger, Neil, and Plantz, Steve,
Then rush out and purchase stores of
Wreaths to hand upon the doors of
Miami coaches, the Marshall fan,
Each November also-ran,
Hobart Fisher, Bolling, Tim,
H. Ray Evans and Houchins, Jim;
Produce a hearty ho ho ho
For winner Shelley Capito;
Be kind, I say, to geezer and youth
(Not excluding Pork Chop Booth)
Then with garlands deck the halls
Of all who dwell where white stuff falls;
Betty Hallanan, peace be thine
Precisely at this point in time;
Say you love them --- everyone do it --
To Rich Rodriguez and Bobby Pruett;
Start the music and let's all revel in
A Christmas romp with Harris, Evelyn;
Bang with zest the glockenspiel,
And tootle the flute with equal zeal
For Larry Harless and Pfister, Phil,
Julia Robinson, Wooton, Bill;
Listen! Hear the tiny hoofs of
Santa's reindeer on the roofs of
Martha Wehrle, Beasley, Jerry,
Jay Rockefeller, Mann, Perry,
Harriet Nottingham, Marquetta Meeks,
George Gannon, Yankee Peeks,
B. Leftwich, the football whiz,
Hank Marockie, wherever he is;
But now the sun sinks in the west,
So hasten I to wish the best
To you, and you, and you, and you
And say goodbye Two Oh Oh Two
While you silently slip away,
But first I ask you, let me say
Have a happy Christmas Day!
And now hear this -- it's my decree --
Greet with joy Two Oh Oh Three!
-- L.T. Anderson 2002
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