CALHOUN CHRONICLE EDITOR GETS THUMPED IN 1900

(03/21/2014)
Transcribed by Norma Knotts Shaffer from microfilm of the Calhoun Chronicle dated 8/21/1900.

Ye editor is slightly disfigured this week, having been run into by little Zack Stump, (about 240 pounder of stout build).

His weapons were not spiritual, but carnal, and mighty, by reason of the cowardly advantage it was his despicable, miserable, dirty and fiendish disposition to take and the manner of his, (The Moderator of the Mount Pisgah Baptist Association's) attack was as follows:

The writer walked into Wiant & Barr's store to see John T. Gainer, a clerk, on a matter of business. In entering we saw S.M. Scott, "Dick" Givens, A. H. Minney, Zack Stump, and others and after having seen Gainer started to walk out and when in about five or six feet of the door were was struck by someone, and the bystanders say it was the moderator, (we do not know). To say the least we went to sleep and have since felt like we had gone through a sausage grinder, or some other species of dead meat chopper.

But the second and only thing we remember was getting a kick in the side, upon receipt of which we caught hold of a leg on which was black pants, and tried to bite it, but it got away too soon and then we struggled to our feet and saw Zack Stump about six feet away with more the appearance to us of an African gorilla than a man.

He announced then there that he would kill us if we put his name in the paper. So here goes Zack or T.R. Stump's name. Prepare for a funeral, but the Administrator of our estate will please see that none of our creditors are defrauded.

What provocation he had or what caused him to make the assault we do not know, unless it was the complete fit of an unnamed shoe. After the assault he gave us the instructions not to put his name in the paper and from this we would infer that he took exception to something the last issue may have said.

And if this be true we would here take pleasure in repeating every word of it, if we had the space.