The not-so-scrupulous Mayor of Hur, Louie Slider, (pictured making his acceptance speech) has won the Ruger 30.06 rifle in the American Cancer Society raffle, sponsored by the Calhoun County Bank. Banking mogul Bruce Fitzwater has filed a complaint about the drawing.

"I bought three times as many tickets as Slider, and it ain't fair," he complained. Fitzwater said Slider's wife Dottie, also an employee of the bank, jumped to her feet with jubilation, screaming "We won! We won! We won!" Fitzwater said it was embarrassing.

Dottie Slider got the government job of being the town cop in the Village of Hur during the Clinton "More Cops On The Street" Program, according to Fitzwater. "They know how to rig things."

Louie and Dottie went to Washington to sleep in the Clinton White House, donating $500 to the former presidents campaign. They were somewhat disappointed because they got only twenty minutes in the Lincoln bed, and then got bused to a National Guard armory to sleep on an Army cot for the rest of the night.

Worse yet, Slider has declared himself Mayor for life in the Village of Hur.

"Now it's this gun deal. What's next?" asked Bruce Fitzwater, a cousin of ill-fated banking mogul Rick Fitzwater of Hur, who for many years has tried to unseat Slider. Worse yet, Bruce Fitzwater, is actually moving to the Village of Hur to becomes Slider's neighbor. He'll learn.