| By Alvin Engelke
 By Alvin Engelke
alvinengelke@hotmail.com
The Creston auction will be held Saturday, January 6, starting at 6 P. M. at the Creston Community Building. It should be a great time to get some goodies and tell about what Santa brought to your house, etc.
Local residents were shocked to hear about the senseless wreck in Parkersburg which resulted in the death of Randy Lockhart, president of Singer Sheet Metal. The Palestine resident was on his way to pick up a new truck for the business when an 18-wheeler ran a red light and hit the automobile in which he was riding.
The sign shop installed some new road signs in and around Creston but the wise ones down at the Mouth of the Elk couldn't spell Woodring. It is hoped that a sign with the correct spelling will be installed to mark the road going up the river from Creston toward Island & Mile Runs.
Euell Russell has been on the puny list and has been consulting his physician and undergoing more tests.
Mr. & Mrs. Todd Rhodes and family were visiting in Creston the day before Christmas.
Sgt. Thomas Fluharty, USA, retired reported that he is starting a battery reconditioning business. He is looking for a number of old dead batteries and will be reconditioning them for use. He has also been working on the farm for Dr. Joe Cain.
The Creston Well Service folks have been receiving telephone calls recently for Creston Oil Corp. There is nothing like having confusion.
Alvin Engelke was attending to business on Stinson one day last week. He was also consulting his physician.
Clyde Smith, age 68, son of the late Conda Smith passed away. He had been a Calhoun County school bus driver. Burial was at Hur.
Peter Triplett, the popular Clay County Commissioner reported that because of union rules and increased population pressure from illegal immigrants, etc. Santa Claus was not covering the southern (redneck) sections of the country but that the deliveries were being done by his cousin, Bubba Claus. It was reported that Bubba liked to have a fresh can of Copenhagen set out as well as a cuspidor (them's called spit cans in some locations). Also Bubba's sleigh, which is complete with a gun rack, a sign saying "These toys insured by Smith & Wesson" and a Josemite Sam back off slow moving vehicle sign, is pulled by a pack of coon dogs. It was reported that one-year Santa loaned Bubba Blitzen to help pull the load and when he didn't return his head was found mounted over the mantle in Bubba's trailer. Of course everyone knows that when a story comes from Clay County it has to be straight.
With the news that the Clinton's national security adviser, Sandy Burgular, made off with records from the national archives it is of more than passing import to note the new report showing the connection to the Oklahoma City bombing with Mohammedan terror group in the Philippines that is linked with Osama Bin Laden.
Anna & Jane Engelke and Jane's husband Wilbur Schenerlein were calling at the Engelke residence Christmas Eve.
Teresa Stutler Starcher wrote another story about one of Little Creek's most famous couples, Asa Haney & Florence Smith. The way some folks heard it Asa traded a cow for a horse, some harness, a plow and Florence. For sure Florence was a worker. Asa used to work for Sweet Potato Dan Connelly.
The price of local Penn grade crude fell to $56.25/bbl.
A well-known Gilmer County oil and gas man who often wins environmental prizes announced that if the bottom falls out of the petroleum business he & his partner (the straight man in the act) plan to get into the greeting card business. Details can be obtained up around a sandy stream.
It was learned that Albert Gore Jr.s propaganda film on "global warming " has been shown to schoolchildren as being factual and many children are scared that "Greenland might melt." Of course in the movie they forget to note that, back during the middle ages, the Vikings kept cattle in Greenland & most cattle do not prosper on a diet of snowballs. It would seem to be the height of governmental arrogance to think that ill-advised political decisions based on pseudoscience could impact sun spot activity which is the real reason for climate change. About 20 years ago the same folks were frightened that we were about to enter a new ice age and DDT had been found in birds at the South Pole. Then later it was learned that the test that was being used would test positive for empty plastic bags that were used to hold the specimens - thus all the reports were hoaxes.
| 
